cogito ergo vagus

October 24, 2012

Will You Marry Me?

Filed under: about me,humour,wishlist — vagus @ 10:08 pm

So, it’s been a while since my last blog. What has woken me up from my slumber? Please forgive me if it’s peppered with jargon and a little too geek for your taste while allowing me to elucidate.

I happened to spot an old nugget today amidst the storm, no pun intended, that is my Twitter stream which pointed me to this post about a Ms. Noriko Higashi:

I then looked at her GitHub post which makes this request:

Now, I’m also approaching my late 30s and still single. Maybe it’s because I’m a moderate Trekkie (a.k.a. Star Trek fan) but at least that’s not as bad as being a Star Wars fan, although I digress.

I was actually attracted to this gal (gawd I hope this wasn’t a gag) but, to cut a long story short, I didn’t score a passing grade by a whisker, with a 29/34 while she expects 30/34 what with me being a software engineer and all.

This is the list of the five of her preferences that I don’t match:

  • 1. No smokers. (Required) – struck out on the first one there.
  • 7. Someone who likes eating vegetables and natto. – I don’t do vegetables and had to look up natto.
  • 14. Someone who can tolerate social gaming companies like Zynga, GREE, or Mobage. – I can’t, and she even works at one.
  • 28. Someone who can play classic or jazz piano. – I blame my parents on this one for not encouraging me enough.
  • 30. Someone who plays at most only 1 hour of videogames a day, or at most only 30 minutes of TV. – While I hardly game these days I regularly stay glued to the unfairly nicknamed “idiot box” for extended periods of time.

I should mention (about item #24 on her list) that the name Peter Drucker rang a bell and I had to look him up to see whether I subscribe to some of his “seven principles” (yes I do) which I also had to look up to find out she was probably referring to his “seven sources of innovation” listed here:

That’s an interesting read, by the way, along with his wikipedia page which sums up his oft-critisised body of work.

Coming back to Ms. Higashi’s RFP (request for a partner, hyuk), there are a few items in her list of preferences which could be up for debate, though I like to think I meet them:

  • 2. No one whose personality changes when they drink. (Required) – I can’t say for sure due to the blackouts and amnesia.
  • 8. Someone who can speak with a person of non-Japanese descent for over 20 minutes (even if the spoken language is Japanese). – does saying “Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto” over and over again for over 20 minutes count?
  • 11. Someone who does not become jealous of rich, beautiful or famous people. – I don’t because I already am rich, beautiful and famous.

And from the four preferences that she applies to programmers and other engineers:

  • 1. Someone who writes beautiful code–it makes me cry tears of joy. (Required) – my code always elicits the same reaction from myself.

If not for flunking five of her criteria, I would ask her “Will you marry me?”, but knowing what her response would be I’d rudely start by telling her to sudo go make me a sandwich.


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